04: Whole as We Are

I tweeted this earlier after thinking about how much of my time goes into growth and getting better: you can optimize every part of yourself, but it won’t give you the love you never were for someone else.

It stayed with me, so I wrote this:

I’ve spent a lot of time trying to get sharper. Systems, routines, clarity. Always chasing the next version of me. It helps, for sure. I get more done. I feel more capable. But there’s this weird emptiness that tends to creep in. Like I’m chasing something I can’t name. Like the peace I’m after is always just beyond the next thing I finish.

Lately I’ve been wondering if this whole idea of fulfillment is kind of a setup. Something we’ve been trained to want. To equate being better with being worthy. But even when we reach the next milestone, we rarely stop to feel it because we’re already onto the next.

What if that’s the problem?

We’re so busy trying to arrive that we miss where we are. And really, what we’re after isn’t just success. It’s connection. Not the kind you post about. The kind you feel when someone’s really with you. Or when you’re actually with yourself.

That only happens when you’re present.

And presence is attention. And attention, I think, is love.

But when you’re always trying to become someone else, it’s easy to forget how to give that love.

To yourself, and to the people in front of you.

You end up alone in your own momentum. Not because you’re failing. Just because you never stopped.

That’s what Firebird Flow is for.

Not self-optimization. A pause. A redirect. A little space to notice what’s real before you disappear into the next version.

That’s why I started building it into something tangible.
A tool to check in.
To remember.
Not to become someone else.
But to come back to who’s already here.